The (other) Game Theory

While you might think that this is yet another post about that book by Neill Strauss, I'm gonna post something about the 'other' Game Theory. This is to do with evolution, math and science in general. It is a game that can be applied to a number of fields; I'm going to apply it to human relations.

Here’s the game in short:

There are two players in the game. Prior to each round they decide whether to betray or cooperate. The best move for both would be to cooperate, but if player A betrays player B and he decided to cooperate; player A wins all.

But then the next round player B will also betray, not trusting player A anymore.

Then they both lose. So what is the solution? Seeing as player A cant trust player B anymore, starting with cooperating would cost player B too much. There have been many strategies proposed and calculated...the only winning strategy is this:

1. Never start by betraying
2. Have boundaries when betrayed, betray also
3. Be forgiving when someone cooperates again

These three rules seem to apply to human relations as well. Never start taking advantage of someone, get mad at them or otherwise betray them, but stop cooperating when they do. Then be forgiving if they come around.

I quit smoking

Ok, I'm still smoking hot (bad pun :P), but I stopped smoking. As of yesterday morning 10 o'clock no more Lucky's for me.

Now everytime I get the urge I try to think of how disgusting the smoke smells in the morning, how my mother caughs and how old smoking people look. As an extra precaution I told everyone I quit so I would have to face them when I don't.

Going out tonight..wish me strength.

GB

Decision making

"They create a vacuum that needs to be filled by her, with you..."

I love to find out why stuff works. While I was studying in England (ok, not really) I found some consumer behavior material related to PU. Just didn’t get around to posting it.. Here’s the first in, what will hopefully be, a series of posts using marketing theory to apply to PU.

From consumer behaviour theory: Uncertainty about a decision makes people look for external cues as to what to decide. People with high confidence about that particular decision will decide on their own terms and so we need to create a temporary moment of uncertainty.

Read that again.

This is significant in two ways. Firstly women we’re sarging that are HSE will generally not be susceptible to normal hitting on, because they get that all day every day. So to get them to open up to a great guy usually takes more work than we would like. Here is where negs, being mysterious, being hard-to-get and dhv’ing come in.

They create a vacuum that needs to be filled by her, with you.

So while everybody is discussing whether or not to neg, al you need to do is create a moment of uncertainty regarding her relation to you. There's a whole bunch of ways of doing that, so if you don't like to neg, don't do it.

Think of some ways to create that uncertainty now.

Fun with the tourists'

Unbelieveably funny, but also very true...(from The Onion)

European Men Are So Much More Romantic Than American Men

By Alyssa Lerner Junior,
Boston University

I just got back from a semester abroad in Europe, and let me tell you, it truly was the most magical, amazing experience of my entire life. The French countryside was like something out of a storybook, the Roman ruins were magnificent, and the men, well, European men are by far the most romantic in the world.

You American men all think you're so suave and sophisticated. Well, think again! European men make you look like the immature, inexperienced little children you are. They really know how to make a woman feel special over there. Unlike the so-called men here in the States, European men know how to treat a woman right.

For one thing, European men aren't afraid to come up and talk to you. And they know how to start slow, with a nice cup of Italian espresso or a long walk on some historic street. They know the places you can't find in any tourist guide. They know the whole history of the cities in which they live--who the fountains are named after, who the statues are.

I remember one unforgettable night in Athens, I sat and listened to a Greek sailor for hours as he told me about the countless men who fought over Helen back in ancient times. Afterward, he told me he loved his homeland even more now that he'd seen it through my eyes. I ask you, would an American man ever say something as deep and beautiful as that?

European men know the most romantic little cafés and bistros and trattorias, candlelit places where you can be alone and drink the most fantastic wine. They tell you what's on the menu and what you should try. (If it wasn't for a certain young man in Milan, I never would have discovered fusilli a spinaci et scampi.) And the whole time, they're looking deep into your eyes, like you're the only woman on the entire planet. What woman could resist a man like that? Then, after a moonlit stroll along the waterfront and a kiss in the doorway of their artist's loft, you find yourself unable to--well, I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

I'll never forget my magical semester abroad. One thing's for sure--I'm ruined for American men forever!

American women studying in Europe are unbelievably easy

By Giovanni Di Salvi

I'm a 25-year-old carpenter living in Rome, and I don't mind telling you that I get all the action I can handle. I'm not all that handsome or well-dressed, and I'm certainly not rich. In fact, my Italian countrywomen could take me or leave me. But that's just fine, because Rome gets loads of tourist traffic, and American co-eds traveling through Europe are without a doubt the easiest lays in the world.

Being European gives me a hell of an advantage. I'm not sure why, but there's something about the accent that opens a lot of doors. All you have to do is go up to them, act a little shy and say, "Whould hyou like to go with me, Signorina, for a café?" I actually have to thicken up my accent a little, but they never, ever catch on.

After a cheap coffee, which to them always tastes better than anything they've ever had, because they're in Europe, it's time to walk them. Now, all they know about Rome is what they've read in Let's Go, so you can pretty much just make up a whole bunch of shit. It's fun to see how much they'll swallow: As long as I refer to Italy as "my homeland" and other Italians as "my people," they'll believe pretty much anything. I don't know who most of the local statues are, so I tell the muffins they're all great artists and poets and lovers. Once, just for the hell of it, I told a psychology major from the University of Maryland that a public staircase was part of the Spanish Steps, which she'd never even heard of. Another time, I told this blonde from Michigan State that the public library was the Parthenon, and she cooed like I'd just given her a diamond.

For dinner, I usually take them to some cheap little hole in the wall, someplace deserted where not even the cops eat. American girls think candlelight means "romance," not "deteriorating public utilities," so they just poke their nipples through their J. Crew sweaters and never notice that there's no electricity. Just as well, because Roman restaurants aren't exactly the cleanest. After a bunch of fast-talk about the menu, I get them the special, which is usually some anonymous pasta with spinach and day-old shrimp, and whatever cheap, generic, Pope's-blood chianti's at the bottom of the list.

By this time, they're usually standing in a slippery little puddle. Going in for the kill, I walk them past one of Rome's famous 2,000-year-old open cesspools. Then, as we open the door to my shitty efficiency, I kiss them on the eyelids so they don't see the roaches, making sure the first thing they see is the strategically positioned artist's easel I bought at some church sale. That's usually all they need to see and, like clockwork, they fall backwards on my bed with their Birkenstocks in the air.

I mean, they're hardly Italian women, but we have a saying here in Europe: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

Style's Archive

[edit] Check out this post for Style's archive




For all you guys who have been mailing me about Style's archive; here it is. Now this is a rapidshare link, so it won't be there forever and you will have to see some anoying ads before downloading... just so you know.

There are some posts in there with another name, and it goes back further than you would believe reading "The Game". Thats probably a reason he took it down from Masf... anyway; enjoy.

[edit] Check out this post for Style's archive

Dolly does the Ghettobob blog ;)

“[..] as a general rule, I don’t make as much of an effort to get to know a guy I want casual sex with and I also don’t share that much about myself. The biggest difference in terms of interaction is that I won’t wait to sleep with someone I’m just interested in having a one night stand or a fling with. “

A while ago I thought it was about time that we get a woman to speak about PU. But while I was pondering what to ask I decided asking personal questions might be more valuable. I asked questions I would have liked to have the awnser to before I came into the community. The result is a very interesting interview with the princess of the community: Dolly from the Cocks and Dolls blog.

--

First of all, can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

My name is Dolly D, I'm in my late 20's, I live in New York City, am in a relationship, and I'm a blogger/writer (though I also have a day job in media).

Have you been ‘lucky’ in love and life?

I think I have had my moments of good and bad luck, like anyone else. I was a bit of a late bloomer as far as love goes, but I definitely made up for lost time. Since some things didn’t come easily to me, whether we’re talking a relationship, job, etc. I made sure not to take anything for granted. Overall, I do think I’m lucky, because of where I am today, but I don’t think that had everything to do with my good relationship and career. I also worked very hard for my current happiness and am one of those people who believe you make your own luck. Fate may put certain opportunities in your path, but it’s necessary to act on those opportunities, or create them when there aren’t any.

Would you describe yourself as being confident, of what consequence has your love life been to this?

I am confident, overall, and this has helped my love life in many ways. First of all, people are naturally attracted to confidence, so being self-assured has helped me get a lot more male attention than being a wallflower, and also insured that I would be judged on my personality instead of solely on my looks. Being able to talk to people easily also means you open yourself up to meeting a lot more people and charming them with your personality. Second of all, confidence has helped me within a relationship. Being more secure with myself makes me more secure with the man I'm with. I trust myself and I trust him to be loyal and good partners, because we both have a solid sense of my own self worth. I mean, everybody needs some reassurance from time to time, but having a well-formed (though not overblown!) ego is important.

Can you remember a moment in your life that changed your outlook on dating?

Yes. Years and years ago I was telling a friend about a guy I had a crush on--worshipped, really. I went on and on about how he was so out of my league. She stopped me to say that he wasn't out of my league and that I shouldn't think anybody was out of my league. It’s so simple and obvious. From that moment on, I stopped thinking that way. And I did end up dating that guy.

What would you describe as the ideal man? What is the #1 thing you feel the average Joe lacks?

I think the ideal man has a firm identity, with intellectual and emotional strength, a sense of fun and curiosity, and an overall kind and generous nature. There should be a balance between being dominant and forthright and being humble and submissive. A guy should know when to take control of a situation and when to take a step back. I think the #1 thing the average man today lacks is a sense of initiative. You have all these self-proclaimed “nice guys” who are unsure of how to approach women or how to behave on a date or in a relationship. They take a passive or indifferent stance, which is very frustrating. Men need to stop being so gutless and learn how and when to take the lead.

What is the first thing that, usually, comes to mind when a confident male approaches you?

That he’s comfortable in his skin, easygoing, friendly, charismatic. The right amount of confidence (without going overboard into arrogance) is extremely attractive.

Will Smith in ‘Hitch’ comments “No woman wakes up saying God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!" for our enjoyment, can you expand on this?

I think this is a great quote and insightful into the way many women think. The average woman is a romantic, and hopes that every day will hold some kind of magic or adventure for her. If she’s single, she might go to shopping for groceries with a scenario that she’ll meet the man of her dreams in the produce aisle. She might ride the subway looking for an attractive man to make eye contact with. She’ll go to a party hoping somebody brought a hot friend along. A woman wants the kind of magic that you get from watching movies. These women are everywhere, waiting to be approached, waiting for that magic to happen.

Do you make distinctions between relationship material and guys who you just want to have sex with? If so, how does this translate in interaction?

There is a distinction, but you have to bear in mind that relationships can change, and something purely physical evolve into a meaningful relationship and vice versa. But as a general rule, I don’t make as much of an effort to get to know a guy I want casual sex with and I also don’t share that much about myself. The biggest difference in terms of interaction is that I won’t wait to sleep with someone I’m just interested in having a one night stand or a fling with. When it comes to a relationship, I try not to rush the physical side of things and enjoy learning about the guy before introducing sex into the relationship. It’s nice to have a real courtship instead of hopping into bed.

What do you say is the percentage of guys you had sex with that were disappointing -with the sex in general - in bed?

That’s difficult to assess. I would say only a handful were really disappointing; if I went as far as to get naked with them, usually the guy would have some kind of redeeming quality. However, the few who were truly terrible were the ones who seemed to lack all bedroom skills and made no effort whatsoever to make sure I was enjoying myself.

How do you feel about historically developed male-female roles? Do you feel it is a ‘bad’ thing, keeping women from reaching their true potential, or do you accept it as the natural way of things?

If we’re talking about the real dark ages, where men are the hunter/gatherers and women keep the home and raise the babies, I think having such distinct gender roles was necessary back then in order to ensure the survival of the human race. It’s also important for society to evolve, which it has to an extent, gender roles being one example. As for whether it’s a bad thing to keep a woman from reaching her true potential, I’m a woman, so of course I’m going to find it a terrible thing, though it’s terrible for anyone to be oppressed. However, I personally don’t feel oppressed and don’t think it’s the natural way of things today. Certainly there are industries which are male-dominated, and certain obstacles which make it more challenging for women to assert themselves, but that doesn’t stop women from doing so. There are plenty of men out there who never reach their full potential as well, despite often having more advantages to women. I think, overall, many women do reach their full potential, even if they have to work a little harder; the fact that so many women in today’s society are able to balance having a career and family (or, are unapologetic about choosing one over the other) shows that.

Do you have any closing comment?

I realize that feminism has confused gender roles and has made courtship more complicated, but that makes it all the more important for a person to develop a keen self-awareness. Yes, women have become more assertive and independent over the years, but that isn’t a reason for men to lose sight of their roles in society. I think today there are more shared roles instead of strictly defined ones, it’s still important for men to be strong and to know when to exert their dominance.

Also, as much as we try to figure out human nature, we cannot forget the person. People may follow certain patterns of behavior and have general needs in common, and it’s tempting to make sweeping generalizations, but it’s important to bear in mind what makes you unique as well as the people you interact with. It’s fine to take a scientific approach to study human nature, but it’s necessary to keep humanity and individuality in the equation as well.